A Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please." *************** A Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the rep. "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up. *************** Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. after much thought he wrote : Yes *************** CROCODILE BOOTS.. A Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of cro codile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!" *************** Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wsn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????" *************** A Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returne d to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit,big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, in a fit he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. *************** How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff. *************** What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. *************** Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First. *************** "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said, "Where, Where? *************** Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head. *************** Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man. "Then as he is not taking Can I take it?" asks Gani Singh. *************** Sadarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" *************** Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" ( its the barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!" *************** Banta Singh, wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited and she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the wife goes to get her hair done. Her phone rings and it's her husband. Banta singh : "Hi honey," he says, "How do you like your new phone?" Preeti Kaur : "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor?" *************** One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing" Sardar answered "No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered "No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him, "Are you Relaxing?" Another Sardar was much educated and answered, "Yes I am relaxing" The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai." *************** A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly." *************** One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted: "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. To top it all..... When he was about to hit t he ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh *************** A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book." *************** Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel' How does he k now that?" *************** Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook? *************** Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom *************** A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can." *************** We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those two houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!" *************** Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge? They're there for those who don't drink. *************** Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids? So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home. *************** Did you hear about the sardar skydiver? He missed the Earth!