Why
did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE
W BUSH
We
don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if
the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either
against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
COLIN
POWELL
Now
to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the
chicken crossing the road.
HANS
BLIX
We
have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN
KERRY
Although
I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it!
RALPH
NADER
The
chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted
by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT
BUCHANAN
To
steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
RUSH
LIMBAUGH
I
don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is
already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of
this can real
Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars.
And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the
government took from you to build a road for chickens to
cross.
MARTHA
STEWART
No
one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing
order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR
SEUSS
Did
the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY
To
die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN
LUTHER KING, JR
I
envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without
having their motives called into
question.
GRANDPA
In
my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA
WALTERS
Isn't
that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell,
for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced
a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream
of crossing
the road.
JOHN
LENNON
Imagine
all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
ARISTOTLE
It
is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL
MARX
It
was an historic inevitability.
CAPTAIN
KIRK
To
boldly go where no chicken has ever gone
before.
SIGMUND
FREUD
The
fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals
your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL
GATES
I
have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet
explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN
Did
the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the
chicken?
BILL
CLINTON
I
did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of
chicken?
AL
GORE
I
invented the chicken!
COLONEL
SANDERS
Did I
miss one?